I hope you are doing well on this lovely Sunday! I just sat down with my coffee, listening to the water fountains trickling down into the pool in my parent's backyard. I'm so blessed to be able to come home and visit my family. One thing I learned while living away from them: family is more important and precious than we'll ever know.
Yesterday, I finished reading Every Word Has Power by Yvonne Oswald, and I can honestly say it was the best self-help book I've read. Every piece of advice and wisdom was so clearly presented and Yvonne didn't fail to put anxiety, loneliness, and other negative emotions in a simpler light, offering quick solutions for not only snapping out of negativity but also finding the root of the issues.
I have always been into manifestation, the law of attraction, and thinking positively. However, I will admit that I've, at times, fallen guilty of complaining, comparison, and giving in to negativity. When reading this book, I was reminded that the power to be happy, attract great things, and not only heal from the past but grow from it entirely, is all within us.
If you're interested in these topics or would like to learn more, I highly recommend checking out this book! Yvonne, who is a therapist, certified in NLP and, while writing the book, was working toward her Ph.D. in clinical hypnosis, offers wise, well-researched insight on manifestation and high-energy thoughts.
While reading this book, I formed a mindset routine of my own and have been doing it for a week now, which I posted about on Instagram here. But, I will go ahead and repeat it!
My morning mindset routine
1) Write out your desires, fears, wants, hurts, comparisons, or anything that's bothering you. Get the gunk out for about 5 minutes.
2) Take each thought and reframe it by slowly turning it into an affirmation.
ex. I am lonely and I feel like I have no friends! -> I am not feeling supported by the people in my life, and I desire more friends -> I choose to feel supported in all ways, and I am attracting new friends and stronger relationships
3) Step into the affirmation, don't just write it down. Believe it to be true, and act as though it has already happened. I repeat these beliefs over and over in my journal until I have stepped into them fully.
ex. I love all of the wonderful people in my life! I feel so supported and loved in all areas of my life! I align myself with love.
I took the teachings from Yvonne and incorporated them into my journaling routine, and I've already seen big-time results! I love journaling in the mornings, but I'll admit, I always felt a little heavier and bleh afterward, and I think I know why--I wasn't ending the journaling on a good, happy note. I was writing about my problems and then just... moved on with my day.
It's always good to get the gunk out first thing, but I felt that I needed something a little extra to reframe my thoughts, and this routine was just perfect for me! This way, not only am I writing out the heavy thoughts, but I'm turning them into goals and affirmations that I can work toward and believe in. I'm already feeling stronger, more confident, and full of light!
How to reframe your mindset for growth, healing, and happiness
I already partially explained this in my morning routine, but reframing our mindset is simpler than we make think.
Oftentimes, when we are upset, we sit and wallow in our feelings. This is okay! In fact, it is normal. Negative feelings are as common and perhaps even more normal than positive ones due to connections and chemicals in our brain merely for survival, and we should allow ourselves to experience the pain and the sadness as it comes. Usually, there is an underlining lesson or sign underneath these feelings, too, so it's important to sit with them and listen.
However, eventually, we must let it go, but even more so, turn it into a high-energy thought.
When you are unexpectedly faced with a negative thought, a painful memory, or a funky feeling, it's good to experience it, yes, but the next step is to reframe it! Here is the method I now use after incorporating the techniques of Yvonne:
1) Stop what you're doing and call out the feeling before it spirals. Label it. Separate it from yourself.
2) Ask yourself why and how you are feeling this way. Where are you? Who are you with? What time is it? (This way you can take note the next time you are in the same situation or you can then find another underlining issue that is more than your feelings.)
3) Remove the low-energy words and replace them with high-energy words or positive words. "I'm lonely" turns to "I'm not feeling supported." Your brain will hear "supported" and ignore the "not". You should already feel a lift in energy by switching your word choice!
4) Find solutions to your feelings, and create an affirmation or think positive thoughts centering them. If you want more friends, align your thoughts with love and call upon them. If you are hurt from your past, think of a good thought from the past to replace it, or pray to release the feelings clung to the past. If you are anxious about the future, think of the best-case scenario, and call upon that scenario instead, as they are both possible.
A personal example of this was when I was comparing my Instagram account to other peoples' accounts. I called out the thoughts and feelings (jealously, envy, self-doubt) and worked my way around them by asking why I was feeling this way. I turned the thoughts into, "I am feeling like I am not successful on Instagram". Then, I searched for solutions, such as approaching Instagram with a positive mindset and staying in my own lane. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I realize Instagram is helping more than harming in the sense that I can connect to many people all over the world, share my blog, my writing, and so much more. Also, I reminded myself that my physical life is much more important than my digital life, in the end.
Now, when I am faced with Instagram comparison or doubt, I repeat to myself, "I am so appreciative of Instagram, and I call on my creative energy to guide me with my posts! I treat it carefully and easily while remembering to live fully outside of my phone."
How does this even work?
Our subconscious remembers all thoughts and the feelings attached to those thoughts. So, when we think negatively, complain, or gossip, our subconscious (90% of our mind, by the way) clings to those words and feelings and stores them away. This is where suppressed emotions form, and negativity is more likely to appear while thinking or talking because it is now an arm's reach.
We begin to make connections and associate people, events, and social media with negative thoughts and pain because our subconcious now believes that those specific things are bad due to our words said when speaking about them.
Our subconscious also doesn't know the difference between the past, the present, and the future, nor does it recognize whether you're talking about yourself or someone else. It is literally just a filing system that replays memories and makes connections for our survival.
So, if you look at Instagram and think, "A horrible, fake place!" then it certainly will become that in your mind. Or if you think Susan is a bad person who is intentionally trying to hurt you, then your subconscious will entangle you in a wave of negative and fear-based emotions whenever her name comes up. Therefore, there is no winner when you gossip or complain--you are only digging yourself in a deeper hole.
The book explains this much better than I, but I hope you now have a general idea of what negative thoughts can do to us if we let them run wild!
As I said above, it's perfectly okay to sit and feel funky and down, but when we don't stop them from expanding, they will cling to us and our subconscious will make those negative connections, stopping us from growth, healing, and limiting our happiness!
The beauty of reframing our thoughts | conclusion
When we take a step back and reframe our fears and wants, we can then turn those into positive affirmations that will pave the path to great things! When we release our anxiety and fear, we take off our blinders and can better see opportunities, meet people, and find the good in everything.
We can also increase our health by limiting our ability to catch diseases, as well as extend our life! Thinking positively also helps us to feel better, more independent, and secure with ourselves and the people and things around us, and who doesn't love that? We'll make better connections, too, increasing our chances for success in jobs and relationships.
There's simply so much positive thinking and reframing our thoughts can do for us, as I've learned from this incredible book!
If you end up doing my new mindset routine or reframing any thoughts, let me know how it goes, and what incredible opportunities come your way! I'd love to hear about them!
And for more on this topic, check out my other posts: