How to get into a natural flow state | tips on allowing calm & releasing control

Updated: Feb 26

Hi there!

Have you ever felt out of control of your own life? Have you ever been fearful of wasting time, of not living enough, of not having enough structure in your days or weeks?

Have you ever found yourself rationalizing your own dreams?

This could be because your life is missing flow. Like all things, life itself has a natural flow. Life is born, life lives, then life dies. Of course, there is an end goal, a hero's conquest, a destined path for each of us, but most importantly, life is meant to be lived.

Nowadays, our path, our purpose can get buried by the many distractions of our everyday lives. We want structure, we want rules, we want to feel grounded with everyone around us, but if we're not careful, if we don't allow life to flow, our music will never truly play. We may not be who we're meant to be. We may not find it.

If we block the natural flow of our life, we will find ourselves stressed, defeated, unproductive, and lacking in passion, because we are only small beings who cannot control the outcome of everything. The only thing we can truly change about this world is ourselves. We cannot control the many aspects of life around us.

A natural flow state means to accept all things the way they are and to be open to changes and new experiences. But some people have difficulty finding their way there.

Why you're not in a natural flow state

You might be in a state of resistance, want, desire, fear, control, which can all become mental blocks that stand in the way of our flow. You may be holding on to a past belief or understanding. You may be holding on to a past relationship, career, experience, or action. You may be trying to control every minor aspect of your life. You may be stuck in your own head, not realizing what's all around you. You may be forgetting that life will always work out in the end.

The problem is: going with the flow is scary. Humans are wired to believe that the worst is upon us, that we must always be bracing for impact. Traumatic experiences and losses can also influence us to always be searching for the bad. I know that in my relationships, romantic or not, I sometimes find myself preparing for a sudden abandonment because that is how my past relationships ended. However, I can instead realize that not everyone is the same, and I can grow from my past experiences rather than hold onto them out of spite. I can learn to be strong, independent, and I can learn to not lean so heavily onto other people.

You may also be sending the wrong message out to The Universe (or God, Jesus, your Guardian Angel, etc.) by praying and asking to find your way and yet, working to find your way on your own outside of prayer. Do you want to be in control, or do you want to receive the guidance of The Universe? Releasing control doesn't mean working to find more control, it means sitting still and waiting.

How to get into a natural flow state

1. Release control and fear and embrace uncertainty

When you're constantly trying to control people and objects and even yourself, you're going to drive yourself mad, because nothing and no one will ever be perfect. By doing this, you're searching for the flaws in yourself and others and you will never feel like your life is enough. More so than not, things aren't going to go our way, and that's okay. Change is normal and should be embraced, not feared. Of course, planning, time-blocking, preparing, etc. are important, too, but understanding the idea that "bad" things happen, things change, and nothing will ever stay the same/be perfect is vital for going with the flow. You must let go of the fear, let go of the control, and relax, let things be. The keyword here is to release.

For more on this topic, check out this incredible book here.

2. Practice gratitude daily

Sure, life can be crazy and even absolutely terrible, but it's important to make note of what's going right. When we're consistently focusing on what's going wrong, we're sending out the wrong, un-flow message into The Universe. We're also filling our minds with more negative resistance that can keep us stuck in old ways. Every day, sit down and write just 3 things (or more) that you're thankful for and explain why you're thankful for each one. I've heard that this is most beneficial at night or in the early morning. After doing this for just a few days in a row, you'll feel lighter, happier, and more abundant. You'll start naturally looking for things that are going right in your life, having less time to complain/focus on the negative. Practicing gratitude will help relax you and get you into a flow-like state while also making you feel whole and simply happier!

3. Learn how to do nothing

Doing nothing doesn't mean working on a passion project, zoning out on a run, watching TV. Doing nothing means doing nothing. Staring aimlessly out of a window, embracing silence, being mindful of where you are in the moment. Meditating, forest bathing, day-dreaming, possibly even reading, depending on the book. For just 30 minutes a day, train yourself to do nothing. Remind yourself that it's okay to stop and listen to the birds. Learning to cut out nothingness time for yourself is important for a flow-like state because it'll help you slow down, be in the moment, and allow things to come to you. And remember the keyword of the first tip: release.

4. When things are going wrong, don't react right away

This is something I'm still working on, and somewhat ties in with the first tip. While it's important to take a step back, relax, and do nothing in times of chaos, it also important to know what to do at a single chaotic moment. For instance, if a friend says something rudely to you and you react poorly or defensively, you are putting up a wall and may possibly be blocking the flow. When things are going wrong at the moment, here are a few things you could do:

- take a few deep breaths, gather your thoughts, then respond/act in a calm manner

- simply excuse yourself/don't respond or act- learn from the comment, etc., ask yourself what is really bothering you, maybe journal about it, then let it go. simply release it

- pause and try to picture yourself in the other person's shoes. it's hard to do, but it gives you a sense of clarity

- just laugh it off and move on--you're better and stronger than you may think

You can use these for any irritating situation. Learning how to manage your emotions and responding with calmness/releasing will help ease you into a flow-like state.

I do hope y'all enjoyed this post! I haven't posted/written anything in quite some time and figured this was a perfect topic to write about. What are some ways that you go with the flow/get into a flow-like state? Let me know in the comments below!

Probably writing,


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