A few days ago, I was settled in a Starbucks, opening the Google Doc that my book-in-progress is currently on. I didn't really feel like writing, but I knew that I hadn't written in a while, so it was the perfect time to dive in. I had a Youtube video playing at my side (yes, I was procrastinating) and suddenly, right as I was questioning my path as an author, feeling uneasy and not necessarily excited to write, the Youtuber said, "Trust your gut... you already know what you want to do, so do it. And don't give up."
Without hesitating, I took this as a sign from the Universe and closed out of the Google Doc. I sat in stillness for a bit, pondering on what I truly wanted. It was clear to me, at that moment, that I didn't want to write another book.
I wanted to go all-in with my blog.
For a while now, I've been struggling with my online identity. Growing up, I wanted to be a bestselling author. I wrote and wrote and wrote, day in and day out. It was all I did. It was my home, my comfort.
Everything I was got poured into my books, and out came Forsaken & Fifty Days before I was even 18.
Along the way, I built an author platform for myself with over 2,000 followers. I established myself as a teen, self-published author and book lover.
And the thing is--I still love writing, as much as I adore reading a good book. But writing books isn't what's calling to me right now.
I kept forcing myself to write, anyway. I'd sit down, write for an hour, then avoid it for a week or so, beating myself up along the way. I didn't want to write another book, but I felt like I should write another book. People know me as a writer, and I don't want to let them or my past self down.
A daunting feeling washed over me in that Starbucks. I was growing, evolving. I wasn't a book writer at that moment.
As difficult as it was, I took a deep breath and assured myself that this realization was okay.
I decided then to put Author Brittney on hold. People are still going to buy my books, and they're still going to know me as an author and, heck, I even have a book signing coming up in March!
But, at this time in my life, I'm changing, growing, and figuring out what I want to be. Blogging, sharing insight on mindfulness, minimalism, and positivity calls to me in a way that book writing simply doesn't right now.
Over these past few days, I've gotten my blog rolling with new updates, a cleaner, more personal atmosphere, as well as edited and more relevant posts. My head has been spinning with both self-doubt and excitment as I finally embark on the path that calls to me. (I've also started a Youtube channel that'll I'll hopefully add videos to....)
Seriously, though. I've received so many signs. 27's, sea turtles, and various quotes about "going for it" and "releasing fear" and "creating clear goals" are sprawled all over my life. Everything feels right about blogging.
As I've grown through this transitioning process, I've learned how important it is to listen closely to our intuition and do what feels good in this moment, right now. How vital it is to search for the signs, and ask for them, too.
Of course, I still feel uneasy about it all still. Change and newness always feel a bit odd. Just last night, I was compiling list after list of all that I love and enjoy doing with my life so I could reconnect with who I am and what I desire because honestly, I've been spiraling lately.
Now, I feel a little more secure, sipping some Green Tea Kombucha and writing to you with all the passion I have.
Over these past few days, I compiled a list of 5 ways to help myself tap into my intuition, and like always, felt the need to share. I feel that in my gut, I finally know what I want to do in life.
This will change over time, as all desires and goals do. But, for now, I can remain confident in my decisions and work hard at this blog.
Anyways, I hope these 5 tips help you follow your gut and finally begin what you've been wanting to do.
5 ways to tap into your intuition
1. If you could do one thing for the rest of your life, what would you do?
I'm sure you've heard this question before, but it truly does wonders when you feel stuck. When you sit down in a quiet place and honestly ask yourself this question, you may be amazed by what comes out.
For just one splitting moment, forget about social media, your parents, your friends, and remove doubts and your subconscious thinking. Don't think about anything else but yourself--be selfish, just for now. And ask yourself: What do I want to do?
Your gut will answer, either promptly, or overtime. However, your desires may change tomorrow or in two years, and that's normal. So, continue to ask yourself this whenever your dreams seem to come to a screeching halt.
2. clear labels, given to you by yourself or from others
If you read the intro of this post or have read any of my previous posts, you might've noticed that I was held down by labels for quite a while. The labels: author, book lover, online influencer. And these may sound like great, fantastic labels, and they are. Being an author is one of my greatest achievements!
But when you're known as these labels and all your life you've worked up to these labels, it can all get incredibly confusing. I don't want to write another book right now, but when people tell me, "I can't wait to read what you write next," I instantly feel a little bad and feel, deep in my mind, that I should write another book.
The better thing to do is instead, be grateful for where you are. Give thanks to your past self for getting you this far.
Then, figure out what you want, at this moment, NOW.
What does your present self want?
It's okay to grow, to change. You don't need to explain it to anyone, not even yourself. If you desire something, go get it!
3. stop comparing yourself to others
Last night, I was scrolling through Instagram for hours. Not kidding. It was bad. I ended up spending quite a lot of time on some girl's feed, admiring the colors, the captions, and the bountiful amount of her, all over, smiling, posing, and wearing adorable outfits. I thought to myself, "Wow, I need to post more pictures of myself!"
I went deeper and deeper into her feed, comparing my writing, captions, friends, boyfriend, and art to hers. She portrayed herself as a record-collecting, art-making, smiley-model poet, and without even realizing it, I grew inferior.
I logged off and felt waves of doubt and frustration wash over me, and before long, I was rethinking everything.
"Comparison is the thief of joy," Theodore Roosevelt
I reminded myself of this and stopped myself from continuing down the hole of comparison.
The truth is, comparison won't only cause you to feel worthless, depressed, and other terrible emotions, but you'll confuse your desires with others' desires.
Everyone has their own path in life. Everyone has their own purpose.
By comparing yourself to others, by scrolling aimlessly through everyone else's pages for hours on end, you'll feel inclined to be them, post like them, write like them, and soon enough, you've lost yourself along the way.
Don't cut out social media or anything. Just simply take time to detach yourself from the online world as well as others' lives. Remember that everyone has their own path, including you.
Don't veer off it by trying to be like someone else.
4. look to your inspirations
Inspirations are not people you compare yourself to or even necessarily want to be. Inspirations are people we admire and grow through, people who are kind, authentic, and inspire those around them. We all had people we looked up to and admired when we were little, and we probably do now.
Look to your inspirations, and make a list of why you admire them. For instance, I admire my mom because she worked her way up to owning her own business and running it extremely successfully. She has put her heart and soul into doing what she loves, inspiring other women and helping them earn money through their businesses, and it has paid off. She got her dream home, makes her own hours, and gets to do what she loves. All because she didn't give up.
My dad, too, accomplishes anything and everything he wants. He set his mind on eating better, exercising more, and losing weight, and he did just that. Now, he's a yogi, runner, swimmer, and fitness machine!
My grandma helps takes care of both my grandpa and uncle, and she keeps a smile on her face even through hard times. If you need any sort of guidance, support, or simply a friend, she will arrive in a heartbeat, offering anything you need. She's busy, but she doesn't let it tare her down.
These are just a few of the people who have inspired me. There are also teachers, bloggers, writers, and minimalists who continuously leave positive impacts on me.
When in doubt of what you want, look to the people who inspire you. Don't try to be like them, but make a note of how they inspire you and use that to set goals for yourself. Thanks to my mom, dad, and grandma, I work hard to ensure that I am at my happiest, fueling my body with healthy foods, and lending a hand to anyone in need.
5. clear distractions, be still and listen
Just last week, when I was going through one of my spiraling self-doubt moments, I walked home from work in silence and as I returned from my apartment, I changed into comfortable clothes, brewed some Honey Lavander tea, and sat comfortably on my bed. I closed my eyes, breathed in deep, and calmed my mind to the silence around me.
And in that silence, I repeated the mantras, "Everything is unfolding for me," and "I'm not going to worry about this right now", and "I am calm."
After meditating for about 8 minutes, my dream was big and bold in my head: my blog, but not only my blog--writing to inspire, to help, and to grow as a writer. I felt comfortable with my goals and what I wanted.
When you sit in silence and let your thoughts breathe, unexpected things can happen. Your intuition will shine through.
I wrote more on this in my Instagram post here.
So here I am, diving full-force into my blog. For a bit now, I've felt that something was missing in my life, and I believe that missing piece was having an outlet for my creativity as well as focusing on ONE project.
I do many things, such as bullet journal, read, creative write, blog, and take pictures for Instagram, but I never felt entirely passionate about one. And while it's good to have more than one interest, it can cause you to lose track of what you truly want, and what you're passionate about. I was focusing on too many things and didn't have the time to perfect just one.
For now, my blog is my passion. It is my creative outlet.
I don't know my overall plans for this blog, nor do I know where it will go, but these such thoughts will only create more self-doubt.
I'm not going to worry about this right now.
Everything is unfolding for me.
I am calm.
I see myself writing creatively, always and forever. But right now, as mentioned above, Author Brittney is on hold. And that's okay. That's more than okay!
You already know what's best for you, deep inside.
It's okay to listen.
Related posts you may enjoy ~
Why it's important to stop giving so much of yourself
How to release self-doubt in writing, blogging, etc.
Why your self-talk could be blocking your happiness
How to embrace uncertainty and manage your fear of the unknown
Related resources ~
I do hope these 5 tips helped you to find some clarity of sense of direction!
Remember: no goal is silly or pointless. Follow your intuition, and don't give up!
How do you tap into your intuition? Let me know below!