It's easy to give in to the doubtful self-talk, as our brains are wired to search for and hold onto negativity, but experiencing doubts and negative thoughts are never fun and limit us from reaching our full potential in all areas of our life, including our capacity for happiness. Whether you are wanting to feel more secure in your relationships, in yourself, or for work, the following tips will help you find your inner voice and the inner comfort you're looking for, and hopefully, help quiet the doubts so that you can move on confidently.
1. You're only as confident as you allow yourself to be
I heard this quote by Rachael Kable during one of her episodes of The Mindful Kind. She said it briefly, but it made me stop what I was doing and say it out loud a few times. The more I said it, the more I realized this phrase is so shockingly true.
Confidence starts from within. Our worth, image and the strength of our voice are all things that we decide. If you want to be more confident in any area of your life, remember that you have control over that. You can decide your self-worth, your inner and outer beauty. When you're feeling down or unconfident, remind yourself of this.
2. Remember that you are important because you are uniquely you
If you ever worry that your voice is unimportant, or fear you're unworthy to do something or be with someone, you know, doubts... remember that you are uniquely you and therefore, you are important. There is no one in this world like you, with the same style and voice and smile and passions as you.
You may meet someone doing the same thing, as I've seen hundreds of other mindfulness blogs by young girls. But, you are you, therefore you have something to offer than no one else does. Return to who you are, and remember the amazing qualities you have.
For more on this topic, read my post Why YOU are important.
3. Practice deep breathing, and return to your "why" when experiencing doubts
Just yesterday, I got caught up in my blog, comparing myself to others who make a living off of their site. My head was racing with ideas and plans. "I have to be like that, right now!" I told myself. But, of course, I felt so far from making any sort of profit on my blog, and there I was, falling into a thought spiral.
Then, I took some deep breaths and stepped away from my laptop for a bit. I did a bit of mindset work and returned to my reason for blogging--not to make a profit, but to help, inspire, and write. I decided that yes, I can put more effort into my blog and try making a profit from my writing, but I can also sit back and remind myself why I blog.
You don't have to be there right now. You can take your time and enjoy the journey, and release the stress and doubts as they come. You don't have to be at a certain weight right now--instead, you can enjoy working out and staying healthy. You don't have to have a significant other right now--instead, you can enjoy dating and being free. You don't have to be a big, successful blogger right now. Instead, you can have fun writing whatever you desire.
Return to the present, return to your breathing, and keep going.
For more on this topic, read my post How to release self-doubt | in writing, blogging, etc.
4. Even if you're not with them, they'll still love you
This is something I've recently begun incorporating. When I was away from my boyfriend for long amounts of time, sometimes for just a day, I would find myself shaken with anxiety. I would imagine him cheating, partying, realizing he no longer wanted me, and other terrible thoughts. I was broken up with often growing up, so for a long time, even in a healthy relationship, I felt on edge when apart from my current boyfriend, eager to return and feel secure with him.
It wasn't until a month ago when I was visiting my parents for a week, that I decided to reframe my thinking. Before we said goodbye, he told me, "I love you". We always say our "I love you"'s before we say goodbye, but I really took this one to heart. Whenever I was filled with familiar anxiety or doubts throughout that week, I imagined him saying "I love you", just as he had when I last saw him. I felt his loving embrace and imagined he was there with me.
Then, I began reminding myself, "Even though I'm not with him, he still loves me." It was almost silly because in relationships, you love each other while together and while apart--being apart didn't make any difference in our relationship. Just because you're not with someone, it doesn't mean the feelings fade. I simply worked with each doubt by replacing it with, "He still loves me, even though we're apart." And this did wonders, helping me calm down and have fun with my family.
While I'm still healing through past fears, I continue to remind myself that I am loved by him, and other people in my life, regardless of if I'm present with them. This helps me stay confident and secure in my relationships and in myself, so I can go about my days not having to fear the worst-case scenarios. I can now easily push away any doubts I have, because I know I am loved.
For more on this topic, read my post How to reframe your mindset for growth, happiness, and healing.
5. Be kind to yourself
Whenever you can, feed yourself with good, kind words. Be gentle with yourself, and do what feels good to you. Yes, confidence starts within, and doubts are unkind thoughts that we should extinguish before expansion, but be kind to yourself.
Compliment yourself when you can, move your body in ways that feel good, meditate to rest your mind. Don't guiit yourself to loosing a bunch of weight to look a certain way or change who you are. Don't get onto yourself for eating that cookie and don't keep pushing yourself when things get too hard. No one is perfect. It's okay to have off days.
At the end of the day, you know what is best. Feed yourself with nutrients and good-feeling thoughts, and allow yourself to move through life, relationships, and other goals with ease.
For more on this topic, read my post Why your self-talk could be blocking your happiness.
I would love to know what you thought about this post! Let me know below!
I hope you have a wonderful, confident day. I dare you to really let your voice shine through today!