Like all posts I write, this one is for sure spur of the moment. I’d been racking my mind for the perfect, eye-catching post for hours when I arrived at work and read the article for my work’s article club (because my bosses/coworkers and I are cool like that).
This editorial piece was, by far, the best I have ever read. It goes into detail about how others view us, and why we let it fester within. When we discover that someone, for any reason, doesn’t like us or a thing we did, we overthink it for days. Anyways: You can read it
This post really hit home with me, because toward the end of last year, I found out that a friend group I was in didn’t like me, and had been talking about me for quite some time.
When I found out, I remember my chest sinking in on itself. I couldn’t breathe. I felt
a feeling I hadn’t felt in quite some time: betrayal.
But, finding out that they didn’t like me was a blessing in disguise, because I learned how to toughen my skin and understand that sometimes, not everyone is going to like you. And guess what? That’s okay.
And the most aggravating thing I’ve learned from all this is that it’s our job to let it go and move past it. It’s not their responsibility to give us the closure we need–it’s ours.
After lots of journaling and contemplation, I realized why I took it all so hard. Well, first, I’m human. And second, I had spent so long building up my self-image, on social media and in person, making myself out to be this ideal person. And, when I found out that it wasn’t enough to control other’s outlook, I crumbled.
And this leads me to my first tip.
1. Stop living life for other people
Maybe you’ve been living for that particular person, or for people in general. Of course, we should strive to be welcoming, kind humans, but our self-worth shouldn’t come from how people see us.
It should come from how we see ourselves.
People’s opinions are always going to hit us in odd ways, negative or positive, but it’s important to remain boldly us and trust in who we are and what we strand for.
Dress the way YOU want, act as YOU want, write what YOU want, and do it proudly and confidently, preparing for any consequences along the way. Because life is too short not to live the life YOU desire.
If someone decides not to like you for being exactly who you are, then…
2. Perhaps it is a blessing in disguise
As I mentioned earlier, that specific friend group not liking me at that given time was a blessing in disguise, because overtime we became close friends. I learned a lot about myself, and learned that it’s okay to take my wall down and be myself, and when I was ready, when they were ready, we reconnected.
Whether it’s time to look inward and find a possible problem, or it’s time to let that person go, everything happens for a reason. (I heard you eye-roll, but I like to believe in that phrase haha.)
Another example is all the boys who broke up with me. Although it hurt that they no longer liked me, each breakup was a blessing in disguise, because not only did I learn something valuable from each relationship, before long I ran into Jared, the man of my dreams.
Maybe you’re in a toxic friendship and you don’t even know it.
Or maybe you need to be a better friend.
Reality hurts sometimes, but we don’t have to let it. We can positively move past anything we want, whenever we want, as much as it hurts.
3. Don’t overthink it, learn what you can, and keep moving forward
I’ll be honest. There have been many nights where I’ve laid awake contemplating my middle school years, sometimes even elementary school years, wondering why so-and-so didn’t like me or why so-and-so stopped being my friend. And I’ve learned that doing this only drags you further down. Even recent happenings are pointless to dwell upon for long.
While it’s good to talk it out and find the root of the problem, sometimes the best thing to do is move on.
We can’t make everyone like us. But we also shouldn’t need that validation from everyone. We can give ourselves our own validation. We can sit back, allow great things, and stop controlling how people view us or the things we create.
Life is always continuing, and new faces are always appearing in our lives. Each step is a learning lesson. So, to keep up with life, to avoid digging a deep hole for ourselves, let’s take what we can from every situation, every negative comment or harsh judgment, and move on.
Life is too short to dwell on other’s opinions, anyways.
And besides. You taking time to read this post means that you are the greatest person EVER! 🙂
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How do YOU deal with others not liking you/talking behind your back? Let me know below!